F-35 Stealth Jet Reported Missing After Pilot Ejects During ‘Mishap’
U.S. military officials found the crash site of an F-35 jet that went missing after a “mishap” caused its pilot to eject from the stealth aircraft, prompting the base to post on social media and ask anyone with information to call in. What do you think?Read more…
Pros And Cons Of Getting A Flu Shot
Less than half of Americans get flu shots every year, believing that they’re not necessary or can cause side effects that make them not worth it. The Onion takes a look at the pros and cons of getting a flu shot.Read more…
8-Year-Old Makes Adorable Presentation To Parents About Why He Needs Gun To Kill Classmates
BOCA RATON, FL—Claiming that owning the weapon would teach him about responsibility, local 8-year-old Dylan Ellis made an adorable presentation to his parents Tuesday about why he needed a gun to kill his classmates. “Mom, Dad, as you can see, I do all my chores and I get good grades, so I more than deserve to have my…Read more…
Archrival Not Successful Either
CHICAGO—Locked in what couldn’t exactly be called a power struggle, local man Joe Horochowski confirmed Tuesday that his archrival Kyle Wall was not successful either. “I always dreaded things working out for him more than me, but, honestly, it’s hard to tell who’s doing worse,” said Horochowski, who worked as a clerk…Read more…
Impatient Guitar Student Asks How Long Until He Gets To Sleep With Teenagers
GREEN BAY, WI—Eager to move past the fundamentals and dive into more complex territory, impatient guitar student Justin Howard reportedly asked his instructor Tuesday how long it would be until he got to sleep with teenagers. “Yeah, I think I’ve got the G-C-D chord stuff covered—I’m just wondering how quickly we…Read more…
MGM Ransomware Attack Shuts Down Resorts Systems In Vegas
Over a dozen MGM Hotels & Casinos have had to shut down operations after a cyberattack on its computer systems left the resort chain vulnerable, with outages impacting ATMs, slot machines, restaurants, and digital room keys. What do you think?Read more…
Man Ultimately Grateful He Chose To Go To Friend’s Wedding Instead Of Capitol Riot
WESTERVILLE, OH—Saying he would always wish he could have been in two places at once on Jan. 6, 2021, local man Dennis Karpinsky told reporters Tuesday he was ultimately grateful he chose to go to his high school friend Henry Hardwick’s wedding instead of the Capitol riot. “At first, when I saw how much fun people had…Read more…
Bijan Robinson Hailed As Generational Talent Who Will Be Out Of League In 3 Years
BRISTOL, CT—Following a standout week-two performance in which the rookie put up 172 combined rushing and receiving yards, ESPN commentators hailed Atlanta Falcons running back Bijan Robinson this week as a generational talent who will be out of the league in three years. “Only two games into his NFL career, Robinson…Read more…
- « Previous
- 1
- 2
- 3