Federal judges, some of whom are overseeing cases involving the Trump administration, are sounding the alarm over unsolicited deliveries of pizzas to their homes, which they view as a tactic of intimidation against them. What do you think?
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The post Bill Belichick Fairly Sure He Clapping for Correct Beauty Pageant Contestant appeared first on The Onion.

I’ve loved movies ever since I was a little kid. Just stepping into that dark theater, with the smell of fresh popcorn, was like being transported to a whole other world. It used to be so magical. But now I’m thinking about boycotting movies altogether. Why? Because I can’t seem to watch one anymore without […]
The post You Can’t Even Watch A Movie Anymore Without Seeing Some Theme Explored appeared first on The Onion.

EUSTIS, ME—With a banner that read “We’re All You’ve Got!” hanging above its entrance, local disgusting restaurant Lenny’s Diner celebrated 30 years as a small town’s only option, sources reported Monday. “Since 1995, it has been our honor to serve the vilest food imaginable to a community that has no alternative,” read a letter that had […]
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The post Silence of the Telegrams appeared first on The Onion.

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This newly renovated home has everything you need to move right in, including a loving Cantonese family ready to welcome you with open arms. Reference #41845
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Mary Stevenson, 82, passed away Sunday. Her family asks that anyone interested in joining her in the coffin please reach out ASAP.
The post Mary Stevenson appeared first on The Onion.

President Donald Trump will accept a luxury Boeing 747-8 jumbo jet as a gift from the ruling family of Qatar with the intention of converting it to a presidential aircraft, the “palace in the sky” potentially being the most valuable gift ever extended to the United States from a foreign government. What do you think?
The post President Trump To Accept $400 Million Plane Gifted From Qatar appeared first on The Onion.

NEW YORK—Insisting that they were all busy people with things to do, Sean “Diddy” Combs reportedly asked a U.S. district court judge for a quick trial Tuesday so that he could just get to the part where President Trump pardons him. “With all due respect, your honor, can we skip some of the preamble and […]
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