LOS ANGELES—In a shockingly personal attack on the actor’s arches, filmmaker Quentin Tarantino made comments Friday slamming Paul Dano as the worst actor on Wikifeet. “Paul Dano’s got the weakest soles on Wikifeet,” Tarantino said during a podcast appearance, calling Dano’s feet “nasty, gnarled stompers” compared to a peer like Austin Butler’s “gorgeous, five-star tootsies.” […]
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Starting in 2026, Malaysia will ban social media accounts for anyone under 16, joining other countries such as Australia in imposing digital age limits. What do you think?
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A Japanese tech firm has developed a capsule-style human washing machine, which is able to automatically wash and dry a person. What do you think?
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ARLINGTON, VA—Describing the incident as a split-second operational judgment made under rapidly evolving conditions, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth invoked the “fog of war” Thursday to explain why he urinated inside a Pentagon break room refrigerator. “In the heat of the moment, you’ve got to make a decision, and sometimes that decision is imperfect,” said Hegseth, […]
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NEW YORK—Confirming his new film fell somewhere between fact and fiction, director Josh Safdie explained to reporters Friday that Marty Supreme was a slight dramatization of LeBron James’ life. “I wouldn’t call it a biopic, exactly, but yes, Marty Supreme is about King James,” said the filmmaker, who sought to dispel any confusion surrounding the […]
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In the world of business, integrity is everything. There has to be a baseline level of trust, or the entire system collapses. That’s why I make honesty a top priority in my professional life, even in situations where bending the truth a little would be to my personal benefit. For example, I would never misrepresent […]
The post I’d Sooner Let My Family Starve Than Exaggerate My Marketing  Experience On My Resume appeared first on The Onion.

Tensions between the United States and Venezuela are escalating, with President Trump stating that land strikes on drug traffickers could come “very soon.” The Onion examines the pros and cons of entering a war against Venezuela. PRO “Caracas” fun to say Raises total number of countries Americans can name to respectable nine Would be nice […]
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VATICAN CITY—In a milestone many Roman Catholics hope will bring the church into the 21st century, Vatican officials issued a statement Tuesday formally recognizing Generation Z’s first demon. “For his innovative use of digital communications to torment and possess the Christian faithful, Melapheus, better known by his online handle DiabolusMel, is hereby accorded full demonhood,” Pope […]
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The bride and groom want to call what happened on Saturday a wedding, but it wasn’t even in a church—and they both wore tennis shoes!
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