Political Memes

NEWARK, NJ—According to a new study released Monday by researchers at Rutgers University, the first 72 hours after a person is reported missing are crucial in determining whether or not their case will go viral. “Our study found that if a missing person case fails to garner media attention in the first three days of……

CHICAGO—All the people out there, living their lives, cut adrift amidst a sea of faces in which they cross paths but never quite connect, where are they going, a new report inquired Monday. “So many people, moving here and moving there, going about their days, eyes downcast as they make their way…where, exactly?” the… Read…

The British High Court has ruled that the will of Prince Philip will be sealed from the public for at least 90 years to protect the dignity of the Sovereign, keeping with a convention dating back to 1910. What do you think? Read more…

SHAKER HEIGHTS, OH—Unseen to all but the most trained observer, the veneer of the Johnsons’ perfect suburban life was reportedly just a facade concealing a pleasant family with several fun lawn games. According to sources, the Johnsons’ white picket fence, trimmed hedges, and pristine garage containing two shiny cars… Read more…

HAGATNA, GUAM—Expressing relief that the effects of the climate crisis were perhaps not as dire as previously thought, the world’s leading marine ecologists announced Monday that rising sea levels over the past century were mostly caused by a clump of hair clogging the drain at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. “We… Read more…

TORONTO—Casting doubt on the 35-year-old’s commitment to the franchise, so-called diehard Blue Jays fan Eric Tremblay wouldn’t even leap over a stadium railing to catch a T-shirt Sunday during the team’s series finale against the Twins. “Eric talks a big game about how this team is his life, but he wouldn’t even throw… Read more…

You might want to erase your browser history, because nothing is a bigger turn-off than reading a list like this. Here are some obvious signs your partner isn’t sexually satisfied. Read more…

VANCOUVER—Archaeologists from the University of British Columbia have announced new findings Monday revealing that Neolithic people took a couple of weekend trips to North America in order to get a feel for the new continent before committing to a migration across the Bering Strait land bridge. “Analysis of artifacts… Read more…

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Researchers used AI to study the career data of famous artists and found that a creative “hot streak” or artistic breakthrough is commonly the direct result of an experimental phase followed by a focus on one approach. What do you think? Read more…