Jake Paul Announces He Is Bringing Gun With Him To Fight Mike Tyson

Jake Paul Announces He Is Bringing Gun With Him To Fight Mike Tyson

DORADO, PUERTO RICO—In response to a training video that the six-time former heavyweight champion posted in anticipation of their match, Jake Paul announced Monday that he was bringing a gun with him to fight Mike Tyson. “This July, when I fight Mike Tyson, I will come to the arena with a loaded firearm,” the…Read more…

Read More
Unsettling Ancestry.com Report Informs Man Genghis Khan Descended From Him

Unsettling Ancestry.com Report Informs Man Genghis Khan Descended From Him

CLEVELAND—Remarking that his family history was apparently far more complicated than he originally thought, Cleveland resident Nathan Yang received an unsettling Ancestry.com report Monday that said Genghis Khan descended from him. “Huh, that’s weird—this says that I’m closely related to the first khagan of the Mongol…Read more…

Read More
Prudish Woman On First Date Declines To Bear Man’s Children

Prudish Woman On First Date Declines To Bear Man’s Children

DURHAM, NC—After stressing that she preferred to wait until the third date, local prudish woman Sophia Thomas reportedly declined Monday to bear local man Alex Campbell’s children on their first date. “What do you mean you don’t feel comfortable propagating my bloodline after only knowing me for a few hours?” said…Read more…

Read More
Streaming Algorithm Recommends Man A Bunch Of Man Movies

Streaming Algorithm Recommends Man A Bunch Of Man Movies

BALTIMORE—Harnessing the power of AI to tailor suggestions to users’ one-of-a-kind tastes, the Amazon Prime Video streaming algorithm recommended local man Doug Guzik, 41, a bunch of man movies, sources confirmed Monday. “Oh nice, they have The Revengalizer,” said Guzik, who sat on the couch with his brow furrowed in…Read more…

Read More
Researchers Say Python Meat Could Help Food Insecurity

Researchers Say Python Meat Could Help Food Insecurity

Researchers studying python farming in Thailand and Vietnam found that the snakes are more efficient to raise than other animals farmed for meat, able to grow rapidly while eating less food than other livestock, which could help offset rising food insecurity. What do you think?Read more…

Read More