Political Memes

Ryan Walters, Oklahoma’s superintendent of public instruction, has ordered schools to incorporate the Bible into lesson plans for students in grades five through 12, putting the separation of church and state to the test. The Onion shares some of the ways schools are changing their curriculum.  Updating the periodic table of chemical elements to include […]
The post How Oklahoma Schools Are Incorporating The Bible Into Curriculum appeared first on The Onion.

South Korea’s President Yoon Suk Yeol faced parliamentary moves to impeach him after sending heavily armed forces into Seoul’s streets with his sudden declaration of martial law, harkening back to the country’s past dictatorships. What do you think?
The post South Korean President Faces Impeachment After Declaring Martial Law appeared first on The Onion.

PARIS—After five years of painstaking reconstruction, the famed Notre-Dame cathedral reportedly reopened Friday to fire. “As a key symbol of fire identity, we are so thrilled to welcome flames into Notre-Dame once again,” said French President Emmanuel Macron, who credited the 2,000 masons, glassblowers, carpenters, and other craftspeople who worked on the UNESCO World Heritage […]
The post Notre-Dame Reopened To Fire appeared first on The Onion.

LOS ANGELES—Drawing widespread condemnation from classics scholars around the world, the new Odyssey adaptation The Return was criticized this week for dropping the original work’s group dance scene ending. “Homer’s decision to close his epic poem with a blowout ensemble dance number is essential to the story of Odysseus’ journey, and any adaptation that omits […]
The post New ‘Odyssey’ Adaptation Criticized For Dropping Original’s Group Dance Scene Ending appeared first on The Onion.

NEW YORK—Emphasizing that enough was enough with the season of savings, the entire U.S. populace told reporters Friday that it was sick and tired of all the deals and bargains. “Just charge us full price, goddammit,” said Peter Nguyen, 43, echoing the sentiment of all 340 million Americans as he opened his wallet, removed a […]
The post Nation Tires Of Deals, Bargains appeared first on The Onion.

PALM BEACH, FL—Clearing their throats as the vice president-elect knocked on the door of the Mar-a-Lago conference room and poked his head inside, members of the presidential transition team reportedly rolled their eyes Friday and allowed JD Vance to pull a low folding chair up to a corner of the table. “Hey everyone, JD is […]
The post Low Folding Chair Pulled Up To Corner Of Mar-A-Lago Conference Table For JD Vance appeared first on The Onion.

The post Nursing Home Hosts Depressing Walker-Decorating Contest appeared first on The Onion.

Brian Thompson, the CEO of UnitedHealth’s insurance unit, was fatally shot outside a Midtown Manhattan hotel in what police described as a “brazen” targeted attack by a gunman lying in wait for him. What do you think?
The post UnitedHealthcare CEO Killed appeared first on The Onion.

LOS ANGELES—Appearing stumped by the convicted murderers’ testimony, Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Michael Jesic reportedly delayed his decision Thursday in the resentencing of Lyle and Erik Menendez after learning that one brother always lies, and one always tells the truth. “Oh jeez, this is tough, and to make it even worse, they say I […]
The post Judge Delays Decision After Learning One Menendez Brother Always Lies, One Always Tells The Truth appeared first on The Onion.

SEATTLE—Saying the amenity was meant to ease any inconvenience caused by the disruption to his daily routine, Harborview Medical Center officials explained Thursday that they were sending area man Alex Leahy home with a loaner dad while his biological father was being worked on. “This one’s seen better days, but he’s super dependable and should […]
The post Hospital Sends Man Home With Loaner Dad While His Worked On appeared first on The Onion.