Political Memes

Catherine, the Princess of Wales, revealed her cancer is in remission about 10 months after announcing her diagnosis, saying in a post, “It is a relief to now be in remission and I remain focussed on recovery.” What do you think?
The post Kate Middleton Reveals Cancer In Remission appeared first on The Onion.

SAN DIEGO—As they shooed a herd of giraffes into a nearby bathroom, workers told reporters Friday that they were frantically scrambling to hide all of the San Diego Zoo’s animals ahead of a visit from the landlord. “He texted an hour ago saying he was dropping in to check the garbage disposal, so we’ve been running […]
The post City Zoo Scrambles To Hide Animals Ahead Of Landlord Visit appeared first on The Onion.

WASHINGTON—Watching in horror as the hulking feline pounced on the commander-in-chief scampering across the White House lawn, officials confirmed Friday that President Joe Biden was batted around by a relentless giant cat. “Hey, kitty, kitty—please, no!” said Biden, who looked desperately over his shoulder in search of his Secret Service detail and yelped out in […]
The post Biden Batted Around By Giant Cat appeared first on The Onion.

LOS ANGELES—In a chaotic scene that saw young people screaming and ducking for cover in the moments after the hip-hop star was served from a passing vehicle, witnesses confirmed Thursday morning that Kendrick Lamar had been hit with a drive-by summons outside an L.A. nightclub. “It all happened so fast—one minute Kendrick was standing around […]
The post Kendrick Lamar Hit With Drive-By Summons Outside L.A. Nightclub appeared first on The Onion.

WASHINGTON—Declining to attend any event or go anywhere at all until 2030, former first lady Michelle Obama confirmed  Thursday that she would be skipping the rest of the decade. “I’ve decided to just go ahead and excuse myself for the rest of the 2020s,” said Obama, speaking to reporters through an intercom by the front […]
The post Michelle Obama Confirms She Will Skip Rest Of Decade appeared first on The Onion.

A ceasefire deal has been reached to end 15 months of fighting in the Gaza Strip, with the agreement also freeing dozens of hostages held in Gaza as well as Palestinians in Israeli jails. What do you think?
The post Israel, Hamas Reach Ceasefire Deal appeared first on The Onion.

Meta founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg has made a major right-wing pivot, including adding Trump ally Dana White to the company’s board and agreeing to cohost an inauguration reception. Here are the other changes Zuckerberg is implementing to make the tech company more MAGA-friendly. 12,000% more AI-generated images of a muscular Elon Musk shaking hands […]
The post How Mark Zuckerberg Is Making Meta More MAGA-Friendly appeared first on The Onion.

SOUTH PLAINFIELD, NJ—Having been informed that he canceled a major stop on his big world tour just to be with them on a Thursday afternoon, residents at Golden Horizons Senior Care Center were told the man playing accordion for them in the facility’s dining room was Billy Joel. “That’s right, folks, the Piano Man himself […]
The post Nursing Home Told Man Playing Accordion For Them Is Billy Joel appeared first on The Onion.

LOS ANGELES—Saying such individuals posed a threat to the safety and security of all city residents, the Los Angeles Police Department announced Thursday that it had arrested everyone who lost their home in the ongoing wildfires. “In the interest of maintaining public order, I have instructed my officers to round up any suspicious person whose […]
The post LAPD Arrests Everyone Who Lost Home In Fire appeared first on The Onion.

The post Donut Pillow Shit For Smothering appeared first on The Onion.