Political Memes

MADISON, WI—In the hours following a violent rampage in Wisconsin in which a lone attacker killed at least two individuals and injured six others, citizens living in the only country where this kind of mass killing routinely occurs reportedly concluded Monday that there was no way to prevent the massacre from taking place. “This was […]
The post ‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens appeared first on The Onion.

LEXINGTON, KY—Clutching his stomach and describing his nostalgia for an era now passed, 36-year-old man Steven Dewey sat down with reporters this week and recalled his halcyon days of seven Oreos ago. “Ah, to be at the beginning of the pack with a whole sleeve still ahead of you,” said Dewey, appearing wistful as he […]
The post Bloated Man Recalls Halcyon Days Of 7 Oreos Ago appeared first on The Onion.

Mufasa: The Lion King, the prequel to the 2019 photorealistic remake of The Lion King, arrives in theaters Dec. 20. Here’s what you need to know about the newest Disney film. Q: What can fans expect to learn about Mufasa’s backstory? A: That before he was a big adult lion, he was a small child […]
The post What To Know About ‘Mufasa: The Lion King’ appeared first on The Onion.

LOS ANGELES—Staring blankly at the 27-year-old woman sitting across from him, musical artist Justin Bieber told reporters Thursday that he had forgotten his wife’s name. “I’d just keep saying ‘babe,’ but I think she’s starting to catch on,” said Bieber, who admitted that he had “zero clue” whether the woman he had been married to for […]
The post Justin Bieber Forgets Wife’s Name appeared first on The Onion.

Meta, the social media giant that owns Facebook and Instagram, donated $1 million to President-elect Donald Trump’s inaugural fund as the company tries to mend fences ahead of a second administration that could oversee major social media regulations. What do you think?
The post Meta Donates $1 Million To Trump Inauguration appeared first on The Onion.

President Joe Biden commuted the sentences of roughly 1,500 people who were released from prison and placed on home confinement during the coronavirus pandemic, while also pardoning 39 Americans convicted of nonviolent crimes in the largest single-day act of clemency in modern history. What do you think?
The post Biden Commutes 1,500 Prison Sentences appeared first on The Onion.

We have taken another proud, collective stride toward dystopia. A bankruptcy court has denied the sale of InfoWars following a month of drawn-out legal proceedings. The experience was long and punishing for all involved, and the final outcome is inconclusive: The InfoWars assets remain in limbo. Everything is now in doubt and everyone is worse […]
The post A Message Of Hope From Global Tetrahedron appeared first on The Onion.

After nearly two years, Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour has at last concluded, grossing over $2 billion in ticket sales. The Onion looks at the key facts and figures behind the record-breaking tour. 1.2 million: Parents who only learned at the door that you can’t bring water bottles into the venue 113: Average rushing yards per […]
The post Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour By The Numbers appeared first on The Onion.

The 2034 World Cup was officially awarded to Saudi Arabia, raising concerns from human rights groups about the safety of migrant workers. What do you think?
The post Saudi Arabia To Host 2034 World Cup appeared first on The Onion.

PALM BEACH, FL—Despite begging to attend the party in his suit like every other member of Donald Trump’s future cabinet, Vice President-elect JD Vance was reportedly forced to dress as an elf Friday for the Mar-a-Lago Christmas party. “Hey everyone, I’m JD, the Christmas elf!” the 40-year-old Ohio senator said in a high-pitched voice, prancing […]
The post JD Vance Forced To Dress As Elf At Mar-A-Lago Christmas Party appeared first on The Onion.