Political Memes

Hundreds of prisoners will be freed in Scotland as part of a broader emergency response to ease the burden of overcrowded prisons across the United Kingdom. What do you think?
The post Scotland Frees Hundreds Of Inmates To Ease Overcrowding appeared first on The Onion.

The post Iceberger King appeared first on The Onion.

COLUMBUS, OH—Reeling as she took stock of the damage done in her debilitated state, area woman Brittany Marino told reporters Wednesday she had sworn off Ambien for good after she woke up and saw how many library books she had put on hold the previous night. “Oh no, not again—I reserved 16 books, and one […]
The post Horrified Woman Swears Off Ambien After Seeing Number Of Library Books She Reserved Last Night  appeared first on The Onion.

OAK PARK, IL—Paying no mind to his forgetful nature and instead lending a fancy free, devil-may-care attitude toward his tendency to sign up for promotional offers, area man Ben Cameron was playing it fast and loose this week with his free trials for numerous subscription-based services. “Yeah, why not? I’ll try FUBI. It’s free for the […]
The post Forgetful Man Playing Fast And Loose With Free Trials appeared first on The Onion.

TACOMA, WA—Operating on pure natural instinct while leaping into action to protect his beloved owners, heroic dog Snickers saved a local family of five from the threat of an herb-roasted chicken, sources confirmed Wednesday. “It was a close call, but luckily Snickers could sense the golden brown skin of the chicken we’d just roasted for […]
The post Heroic Dog Saves Family Of 5 From Herb-Roasted Chicken appeared first on The Onion.

WASHINGTON—With thousands of aircraft suddenly falling out of the sky after the power was turned off, President Donald Trump announced cutbacks this week that forced the Federal Aviation Administration to unplug the giant magnet that keeps planes in the air. “This electromagnet, which I’ve order to be immediately shut down, is wastefully costing taxpayers tens […]
The post Trump Cutbacks Force FAA To Unplug Giant Magnet That Keeps Planes In Air appeared first on The Onion.

The post CIA Announces It Has Obtained The Briefcase appeared first on The Onion.

NEW YORK—Leaping at the opportunity to make their intentions clear, numerous NFL front offices expressed interest this week in quarterback Aaron Rodgers playing elsewhere, sources confirmed Tuesday. “Aaron Rodgers feels like he could be a great fit for the culture of other places,” said an anonymous NFC general manager among the flurry of teams across […]
The post Numerous Teams Express Interest In Aaron Rodgers Playing Elsewhere appeared first on The Onion.

ALHAMBRA, CA—Marking the moment as an exciting new era for Elmhurst Management Solutions, employees confirmed Friday that the revival of the company’s internship program heralded the coming of age of CEO Richard Bonaldo’s daughter. “Restarting the internship program after a nine-year hiatus is the clearest sign yet that Alicia has become a woman and needs […]
The post Revival Of Internship Program Heralds CEO’s Daughter Coming Of Age appeared first on The Onion.

CHICAGO—Charging across the street in order to find out “what this motherfucker’s problem is,” local drunk man Garrett Dotson confirmed Tuesday that he didn’t like the way the Kumon logo was looking at him. “Keep staring, bitch, and see what happens,” said Dotson, standing nose to nose with the neutral face floating in the window […]
The post Drunk Man Doesn’t Like The Way Kumon Logo Looking At Him appeared first on The Onion.