Political Memes

The post Self-Conscious Sumo Wrestler Wears White T-Shirt Into Ring appeared first on The Onion.

LONDON—Shivering and rubbing his hands together as he attempted to stay warm, a ragged, soot-covered former Prince Andrew was spotted Tuesday on a street in the Whitechapel district of London begging for a child to molest. “Please, sir, may I have a girl? A small one? Surely you have some to spare,” said the disgraced […]
The post Soot-Covered Prince Andrew Begging On Street For Child To Molest appeared first on The Onion.

LEAWOOD, KS—Her eyes widening at the sight of the piece of paper moving inch by inch out of the machine, an alarmed Taylor Swift reportedly looked on Tuesday as her fiancé, Travis Kelce, printed out the Buffalo Wild Wings catering menu. “Babe, what’s that?” said the 35-year-old billionaire recording artist, taking a step closer to […]
The post Alarmed Taylor Swift Watches As Travis Kelce Prints Out Buffalo Wild Wings Catering Menu appeared first on The Onion.

ATLANTA—As the agency struggles to manage a measles caseload that has erupted to its largest size in decades, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention stated Monday that at this point, it would probably make more sense to start tracking people without the disease.   Citing recent data that showed U.S. vaccination rates had dropped below […]
The post CDC Figures It Easier To Start Tracking People Without Measles appeared first on The Onion.

WASHINGTON—Expressing horror as an unidentified slimy substance dripped on her shoulder from above, White House maid Carla Ovares reportedly shrieked Tuesday after spotting first lady Melania Trump on the ceiling of the Executive Residence. “What on earth is that clicking sound? Oh my God, ahhhhhh!” Ovares screamed in terror, dropping a vase she had been dusting […]
The post White House   Maid Shrieks After Spotting    Melania  On Ceiling appeared first on The Onion.

The post Grandma Recalls Wild Teenage Year Before She Met Grandpa appeared first on The Onion.

Opposites attract, and that’s never been more true than in the whirlwind romance of Lundell, a UX guru, and Francis, whose background is more B2C performance marketing.
The post Regina Lundell and Mark Francis appeared first on The Onion.