Political Memes

WASHINGTON—Hampering the chief justice’s efforts to swear him in for a second term, President-elect Donald Trump autographed the inaugural Bible before handing it back to John Roberts, sources confirmed Monday. “There you go—all yours,”  said Trump, who took the Bible from Roberts, pulled a Sharpie out of his suit pocket, opened the book, and scribbled […]
The post Confused Trump Autographs Swearing-In Bible Before Handing It Back To Justice Roberts appeared first on The Onion.

WASHINGTON—Placing his right hand on the collection of posts taken from the controversial message board, JD Vance was reportedly sworn in as vice president Monday on a stack of printed-out 4chan greentexts. “I, James David Vance, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign […]
The post JD Vance Sworn In On Stack Of Printed 4chan Greentexts appeared first on The Onion.

WASHINGTON—Cackling wildly as he pulled himself from the smoldering wreckage while those around him watched in horror, Defense Secretary nominee Pete Hegseth reportedly crashed a golf cart into the stage at the presidential inauguration Monday. “Ooooh shiiiiit, what the fuck was that?” said the bewildered former Fox News host, who, after stumbling out of the vehicle […]
The post Pete Hegseth Crashes Golf Cart Into Inauguration Stage appeared first on The Onion.

WASHINGTON—Not bothering to conceal her phone screen, Melania Trump was reportedly swiping through Raya matches Monday in full view of television cameras. The former and incoming first lady of the United States was captured in close-up by various news networks perusing profiles on the celebrity dating app during her husband’s inauguration ceremony, occasionally pausing to zoom […]
The post Melania Trump Swiping Through Raya Matches In Full View Of Cameras appeared first on The Onion.

WASHINGTON—Wanting to ensure his closest companion in the world got a good view of the inauguration proceedings, Elon Musk held up his AI girlfriend app so she could see, sources confirmed Monday. “Take it all in, Jasmine, my sweet—this is a day we’ll tell our children about,” Musk said as he slowly panned his phone’s […]
The post Elon Musk Holds Up AI Girlfriend App So She Can See appeared first on The Onion.

The post RFK Jr. Attends Inauguration Shirtless appeared first on The Onion.

The post Trump Boys Take Turns Shouting ‘Penis’ At Inauguration appeared first on The Onion.

The post Inauguration Begins With Moment Of Silent Gloating appeared first on The Onion.

The post Trump Rolls Onto Capitol Steps In Bulletproof Sphere appeared first on The Onion.

The EPA warned that forever chemicals found in sewage sludge that some farmers use to fertilize fields and pastures can pose a threat to human and animal health. What do you think?
The post Sewage Sludge Used As Fertilizer Poses Health Risks appeared first on The Onion.