What To Know About The New ‘Superman’ Movie

A new Superman movie directed by James Gunn is now in theaters. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the film.

Q: What is Superman about?

A: Superman trying to reconnect with his roots by opening a Kryptonian restaurant in a skeptical Midwestern town.

Q: What is the film’s run time?

A: Five concealed PBR tallboys long.

Q: Is Spider-Man in it?

A: No buddy, this one is about a different guy, but he’s pretty cool too!

Q: Where can I watch it?

A: Fans fluent in Mandarin can get a sneak peek of the film right now on WATCHMOVIESNOWHD123.COM.

Q: Who is Superman for?

A: Girlfriends who have become so desperate for a date night they’re willing to make some concessions.

Q: When will the next Superman reboot come out?

A: About 45 minutes into this one.