The Onion’s Top Songs: October 2025

EMBERS OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT

TAYLOR SWIFT

PORK ME WITH YOUR CHODE

SABRINA CARPENTER

RATTLING CHAINS AND SCREANS
(9-HOUR VERSION)

HALLOWEEN SOUNDS

SUSHI IS TOO EXPENSIVE

RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE

I SPENT ALL MY MONEY ON

VIDEO GAMES

BEYONCÉ

DARK RISE OF THE ASTRAL
DREADNOUGHTS PART IV

ZACH BRYAN

YOU CAN’T PUT ME IN A BOX
(UNLESS IT’S A SEX BOX)

SABRINA CARPENTER

SECOND CONTRACTUALLY
OBLIGATED DUET

LADY GAGA, BRUNO MARS

CLODGE (NEW SLUR)

MORGAN WALLEN

THERE’S A NEW FLAVOR OF CELSIUS
I REALLY WANT TO TRY

JUSTIN BIEBER

MOMS AND AUNTS
(THEY’RE BOTH SWELL)

BENSON BOONE

DRACULA IN MY PICKUP TRUCK

LUKE COMBS

TRENDING AUDIO

LOLA YOUNG

SHORTS IN THE WINTER

JELLY ROLL

FOOK

OASIS

BIG ALIVE HAMBURGER
(CHASIN’ ME AROUND)

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN