Man Unsure How To Get Old Lady Smell Out Of Hood Of Car

SAN FRANCISCO—Saying all his attempts to remove the 84-year-old’s stench from the vehicle had failed, local man Rob Davis expressed frustration Wednesday over his inability to get the old lady smell out of the hood of his car. “I hit her, like, two whole days ago—what gives?” said Davis, adding that he had scrubbed away the blood and inspected the grille for viscera multiple times, but the powdery, floral scent was still clinging strong. “I tried Febreze, but that barely did anything. It seems like it’s getting worse every day. Man, what is that perfume? It’s like bug spray!” At press time, Davis had reportedly decided to hit a few young people with the car to see if that would cover up the smell.

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