QR‑code phishing or “quishing” scams are on the rise, with malicious codes intended to trick users into divulging personal data or downloading malware. What do you think?
The post ‘Quishing’ QR Code Scams Dupe Millions appeared first on The Onion.

DALLAS—In a move already being described as one of the most surprising transactions in NBA history, Dallas Mavericks general manager Nico Harrison confirmed Tuesday that he had traded all of the team’s basketballs to the Brooklyn Nets in exchange for cash considerations. “Sometimes you have to make hard decisions to position your franchise for success, […]
The post Mavericks GM Trades Away All Of Team’s Basketballs appeared first on The Onion.

WASHINGTON—Despite the president’s sagging approval rating overall, a Gallup Poll released Tuesday confirmed that Donald Trump’s support remained overwhelmingly strong among working-class American pedophiles. “Even though his polling numbers among Americans who are not sexually attracted to children have hit a second-term low, the president’s approval rating is still an impressive 80% among child rapists […]
The post Trump Still Polling Well With Working-Class American Pedophiles  appeared first on The Onion.

WASHINGTON—Expressing frustration with his inability to duplicate the president’s bulbousness caused by trapped fluid, body double John Schade was reportedly struggling Tuesday to get the appearance of Donald Trump’s leg edema just right. “One glance at my ankles and they’ll know something’s off,” said the presidential political decoy who bemoaned that there was only so […]
The post Trump Body Double Struggling To Get Leg Edema Just Right appeared first on The Onion.

The post Moment Of Silence Followed By Hot Dog Race appeared first on The Onion.

CLEARWATER, FL—After undergoing a medical emergency and dying last week at the age of 71, Hulk Hogan’s spasming cadaver reportedly lifted a mortician high above its head Monday and body slammed the professional. “At approximately 1:34 p.m., Hulk Hogan’s deceased corpse underwent spontaneous convulsions, at which point the cadaver bolted upright, ripped off its body […]
The post Hulk Hogan’s Spasming Cadaver Body Slams Mortician appeared first on The Onion.

EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND—Shortening the 50-day deadline he had previously given Vladimir Putin to put a stop to the war-torn country, President Donald Trump told reporters Monday he was now giving the Russian leader just “10 or 12 days” to end Ukraine once and for all. “I’m disappointed in President Putin, who has failed to halt this […]
The post Trump Gives Russia 10-Day Deadline To End Ukraine appeared first on The Onion.

CAGLIARI, ITALY—Groaning as they both realized the other unclothed person on the water was indeed their ex, Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom reportedly pretended not to see each other Monday when they inadvertently crossed paths while naked paddleboarding off the coast of Sardinia. “Oh no, you’ve got to be kidding me—what the hell is he […]
The post Katy Perry, Orlando Bloom Awkwardly Pretend Not To See Each Other While Out Naked Paddleboarding appeared first on The Onion.

WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA—Causing widespread frustration among women who dared to search for love in middle adulthood, an update to the popular dating app Tinder reportedly began classifying female user ages over 35 this week as system errors. “I was trying to set up my profile, but I kept getting the same ‘Birthday Invalid’ error message […]
The post Tinder Update Classifies Female Age Input Over 35 As System Error appeared first on The Onion.

CANTON, MA—Stressing that whatever garbage they have on their menu couldn’t possibly be better than what Americans had at home, Dunkin’ officials announced Monday that they no longer have the heart to charge customers money for such horrible, depressing meals. “While we take pride in our brand’s popularity across 43 states, we cannot in good […]
The post Dunkin’ Announces They No Longer Have Heart To Charge People For Such Depressing Meals appeared first on The Onion.